RULES

1. DEFINITIONS AND INTERPRETATION

Throughout these Rules, reference to the following words and expressions shall be construed as follows:

a. "Dance Master": a game whereby the person holding said poisition performs a dance move that can be copied. The last person to copy the move has to drink and then assumes the role of Dance Master.

b. "Doing a Fi": cat-napping during dinner, which is only permitted in accordance with Rule 3.a.

c. "Doing a Kerri": a reference to the behaviour of any member who complains about, or challenges, a handicap adjustment imposed by the committee, including, without limitation, any outburst (whether verbal or by way of extreme frown or facial grimace), tantrum or tears resulting from such adjustment.

d. "Double Parking": the act of having ownership of, and/or responsibility for, more than one unfinished drink at the same time.

e. "Fiona/Paddy Law": a new ruling introduced in 2006 whereby any female member may nominate a male member to do their share of drinking for them, in addition to their own.

f. "Gimmee": a putt conceded from INSIDE THE LEATHER of a standard putter grip.

g. "Golf Sodas": shall have the meaning ascribed to it in Rule 2.d.

h. "High Pot": the pot of players in the Masters with a handicap in the higher half of those participating (not including the defending champions).

i. "International Drinking Rules": the generally accepted and internationally recognised set of rules relating to the drinking of alcoholic beverages whilst participating in any sort of tour or other sporting event.

j. "Low Pot": the pot of players in the Masters with a handicap in the lower half of those participating (not including the defending champions).

k. "Mr Freeze": a game whereby the person holding said position remains perfectly still. The last person to stop moving has to drink and then assumes the role of Mr Freeze.

l. "Pint Hiding": the act of hiding, or the result of any attempt to hide, an alcoholic beverage with the intended goal of avoiding consumption.

m. "Rockies": any new member of the Brown Jackets (the term having been coined by Billy Whiz in a dyslexic fit in 2005).

n. "Thumb Master": a game whereby the person holding said position places their thumb on the edge of any table at which they are sitting. The last person to copy said thumb placement has to drink and then assumes the role of Thumb Master.

2. HANDICAPS

a. Declared Handicaps

Your declared handicap will be your WHS Index as at the start of Thursday's 'international' match (or, if later, your first competitive round on tour). Your playing handicap for each venue will be calculated using the Council of National Golf Unions (CONGU) Mixed-Tee Handicap Calculator.

You may submit a score using the MyEG app or otherwise during the tour if you so wish (but not during either the 'international' match or the Masters since both are better ball format), but any resulting change to your WHS Index will not be taken into account for the remainder of the tour (unless it is downwards, in which case it shall be at the discretion of the committee as to whether or not the change should apply).

If you do not have a WHS Index, the committee will determine it for you based on a fair assessment of the approximate number of shots over par you would return on a good day (and then probably halve it).

The maximum WHS Index is 28.

b. Adjustments

Prior to commencing the Open Championship and the Masters, all handicaps will be reviewed by the committee over a few beers, it being noted that a maximum of two shots will automatically be deducted for winners of either event in the previous two years. Any requests for a player’s handicap to be increased due to inactivity will generally be ignored, although the committee will consider extreme situations, including, without limitation, prolonged injury, change of dominant hand and gender reassignment. Final playing handicaps will then be declared and the decision of the committee will be final.

Each player must welcome any revised handicap with a beaming smile; anyone who does a Kerri will generally be ignored and may receive a drinking penalty, or further handicap adjustment, depending on the extent of their outburst or severity of frown or facial grimace.

c. Rockies

Rockies shall be required to give evidence of their handicap and general golfing skills during a drinking induction prior to play. This might include (but is not limited to) air-swinging in a bar or Vardon-gripping a pint of ale.

d. Weight Handicaps

All players participating in either the Open Championship or the Masters who are habitually resident in the United States of America are required to start each round with alcoholic refreshments in their bag sufficient to last them the entire round and, in any event, weighing not less than 3kgs (6.6lbs) (said alcoholic refreshments to be referred to as "Golf Sodas"). Bags will be weighed on the first tee and any non-compliance will result in rocks and/or further Golf Sodas being added. Bags will also be weighed after the round has been completed to ensure that all Golf Sodas have been duly consumed.

3. ETIQUETTE

a. General Behaviour

Members are expected to behave in a slightly obscure manner at all times. Excessive practising or early bedtimes will be frowned upon and may result in a severe handicap adjustment from the committee. Doing a Fi is only permitted if you are seated next to the Pint Hider (click here for a photographic representation of the posture to be assumed when doing this).

b. Dress Codes

Members are required to uphold the dress code of all golf clubs visited at all times (and current Masters champions must wear their brown jackets as required by Rule 3.c). However, this should not preclude quirky, or in some cases outlandish, outfits which, if deemed impressive enough, may even result in a beneficial handicap adjustment from the committee.

Any member who owns any branded garments from previous events is encouraged to wear these items whenever and wherever possible (the only exception being the tent-like blue long-sleeved polo shirts from the Edinburgh tour in 2007 which members are permitted to discard permanently if they have not done so already).

No member may wear red suede driving shoes or any footwear emblazoned with a Ferrari logo. The wearing or use of any clothing or equipment bearing logos of golf clubs in Kent is also strictly forbidden. Any infringement of the aforementioned two rules will result in the guilty member having to down a pint of beer before teeing off (such penalty to apply on each individual day of infringement). Infringement by a female member will result in the male member responsible for her (if applicable) having to down a pint of beer, in addition to any pint that he may be required to drink due to his own infringement.

c. The Wearing of the Brown Jackets

The holders of the brown jackets shall:

wear their jacket with extreme pride;
wear their jackets when teeing off on the first hole of the following year’s Masters, as well as in the bar before and after (until awarded to the new victors);
perform the honorable tradition of awarding the jackets to the victors at the prize giving ceremony (it being a requirement that each victor must be awarded the jacket that is the most ill-fitting); and
never, ever allow their jacket to be professionally cleaned (although the blotting of liquid spillages, and the removal of food or other detritus, with a soft damp cloth is permitted).

All members should treat the jackets and those wearering them with the utmost respect at all times - even offering up a seat if necessary to avoid undue creasing or crumpling of the sleeves or lapels.

4. DRINKING RULES

a. General

Drinking is encouraged. It can also have beneficial effects on your handicap - subject to the committee’s handicap review. However, please remember that handicaps can go up, as well as down.

b. Pint Hiding

Pint Hiding is most definitely not allowed.

c. Non-drinking

Non-drinking is frowned upon and may lead to handicap adjustment. Whilst female members are permitted to invoke the Fiona/Paddy Law, it should be noted by the male member affected that that this is likely to lead to severe Double Parking infringements (see Rule 4.d).

d. Drinking Games

Fines for Double Parking are in operation at all times. Standard penalty is two fingers.

In accordance with International Drinking Rules, members are politely reminded:

to drink with the appropriate hand at all times;
to refer to all other members by their designated Brown Jackets name (to be confirmed at the start of each tour);
not to use the words "drink" or "finger" ("beverage", "imbibe" and "digit" being recommended replacements);
not to point at other members with either a finger or thumb (the elbow being a recommended replacement); and
not to make false accusations of non-compliance against other members.

Any infringement of the above rules will result in a two finger penalty.

Clapping-in is obligatory.

Other drinking games may be instigated at any time without warning. Dance Master, Mr Freeze and Thumb Master will be continuously in force when not on the golf course.

5. THE MASTERS

a. The Draw

The draw for the Masters will take place after dinner on the eve of the event and will be conducted by the organiser(s) of the tour.

The players (not including the defending champions) will be divided into the Low Pot and the High Pot (with an additional player in the Low Pot in the event of an odd number of players).

Each pair will be chosen by selecting one player from the Low Pot and one player from the High Pot. In the event of an odd number of players, one player from the High Pot will be paired with two different partners, both from the Low Pot. Due to the increased chances of winning as a result of having two different partners, the player from the High Pot may have his/her handicap reduced at the discretion of the committee.

The reigning Masters champions will always be paired together, but are respectfully encouraged not to make any sort of realistic defence of their title.

b. Format of Play

The Masters is a stableford pairs event, with each player receiving 85% of their course handicap by way of stroke allowance. Each pair's better-ball stableford score on each hole will count, with the pair returning the most stableford points over the 18 holes being declared the winners. Ladies will play from the ladies tees and will calculate their stableford score on each hole based on the ladies card, with an appropriate adjustment to playing handicaps being made in accordance with Rule 6.2b of the R&A/USGA Rules of Handicapping (Calculation When Multiple Tees with Different Pars Are Used in a Competition).

c. In the Event of a Tie

Subject to permission from the hosting golf club, ties will be settled by a sudden-death play-off (rather than countback). Should permission not be granted by the club, there will be a putt-off.

6. THE OPEN CHAMPIONSHIP

a. Format of Play

The Open Championship will be played the day before the Masters. This is a singles stableford competition, with each player receiving 95% of their course handicap by way of stroke allowance. The player returning the most stableford points over the 18 holes will be declared the winner. Ladies will play from the ladies tees and will calculate their stableford score on each hole based on the ladies card, with an appropriate adjustment to playing handicaps being made in accordance with Rule 6.2b of the R&A/USGA Rules of Handicapping (Calculation When Multiple Tees with Different Pars Are Used in a Competition).

b. In the Event of a Tie

Gimmees are acceptable in both the Masters and the Open Championship if agreed upon by all players in the relevant group. However, no gimmees may be awarded on the 18th hole in either event or on any hole contested as part of a sudden-death play-off (including a putt-off).

8. HOLES IN ONE

Anyone scoring a hole in one during either the Open Championship or the Masters will win a car - the Pint Hider's Ferrari.

9. THE MASTERS AUCTION

The Masters auction will be held on the eve of the event, after the draw has been concluded. It will be conducted by the Pint Hider and telephone bids are allowed.

Each pair will be auctioned. Pairs can then be traded, or bought (including by way of a syndicate), until the close of proceedings, when the final ‘pot’ will be determined. The holder(s) of the winning pair will receive 100% of the value of the pot, but are encouraged to make a generous contribution towards the evening's bar bill.

10. BUGGIES

Use of a buggy of any sort in either the Masters or the Open Championship without a written certificate from a medical practitioner submitted to the Committee before the start of the tour will result in immediate disqualification.

Last updated 9 September 2024